Bringing Home Second Baby: What I Want You to Know.
Read the following excerpt before bringing home your second baby:
“Imagine your husband bringing home another women, but she is younger and sweeter and everyone you knew thought it was the best idea ever AND brought her presents!” This is how our family pediatrician explained the addition of a new sibling to me when we were struggling with our new family dynamics. How would you feel if this happened to you? I would feel betrayed, unloved, displaced, confused and heartbroken. When we view our oldest child’s world as our own, we have empathy and compassion.
Use these mindset shifts and tips when bringing home second baby:
- Your oldest child’s emotions could ebb and flow for a few years after bringing home your second baby. After 6 months, I was worried because Connor was not handling his baby brother well. Still, almost two years later, he is still working through all the emotions that come with having a sibling. And now it makes sense to me. A baby changes drastically every 3 months. Just when Connor was feeling balanced as a big brother, the baby started moving/babbling/alert. As soon as Connor adjusted to his brother gaining more of a persona, his brother began walking and playing with his toys…FINALLY WHEN HE WAS BEGINNING TO ADJUST, THE BABY CHANGED AGAIN!
- Start to visualize your day to day life with two. What will bedtime routine look like? How will you make time to connect with your oldest child? Who will be making lunches? Have you imagined what your oldest child be doing while you feed the baby?
- “The baby took away everyone who loved me,” Connor told me one day as I was holding him, 6 months after Jackson was born. “Wow, what a big feeling to have. Thank you for sharing that with me.” I replied. Let their feelings be. Let you child grieve.
- All siblings will react differently. Do not compare. Some have easy to adjust temperaments. Some might begin hitting, whining, night waking, biting, tantrums, bed wetting…. all regressions should be viewed as progress towards working through their emotions.
- Grocery shopping with two is HARD for a long time. A doctors visit with two will take you days to recover from and packing a diaper is a marathon now.
- You might not feel the “love” or bond for baby #2 immediately, you are in survival mode. Comparing bringing home your second baby to your first, is incomparable.
- Guilt, division of time/energy/attention can be at an all time high. You are not alone in your feelings.
For a related post, go to How to Adjust to a New Sibling.
To check out some of my all-time favorite parenting books, visit my Amazon storefront.
