Beginning Potty Training

Let’s talk about how to prep for potty training and the first few days of the often dreaded potty training! As you guys know, a few weeks ago Jackson was starting to show ALL of the developmental signs he was ready for potty training. This didn’t mean that I was ready though. I would have kept him in diapers a little longer, but also knew that it felt like this was our window of time since we had been prepping him and monitoring his developmental signs closely. Potty training can start in infancy! Prep is key. You can prep an infant by talking to them about their bodies, taking them in the bathroom with you, and involving them in the process of changing their diaper. When you think potty training is around the corner for your toddler, prep them! You can prep by reading books, talking about it, playing with them to build connection, and having them practice taking their diaper off and putting clothes on independently. 

Developmental signs that your child is ready to begin using the toilet will be: 

• Can follow a simple direction.
• Doesn’t resist, or run away when you talk about using the toilet.
• Understands bathroom routines (sit down, pee/poop, wipe, flush, pull up clothes, wash hands).
• Shows verbal or nonverbal cues that they peed or pooped. This might be hiding to poop or letting you know their diaper is wet by saying, “I peed!”
• Working on or close to mastering pulling up pants.
• Can sit in one spot for 3-5 minutes. 
• Shows interest in using the toilet. 
• Is able to climb up on something independently like a stool, bench, carseat, highchair, etc. 
• Understands basic body anatomy.
• Stays dry for 1-2 hrs at a time.

OK, so if you child is developmentally ready, we need to get YOU ready! Why? Because your attitude and the energy you give off during potty training sets the stage for success and the amount of hurdles you will encounter. Are you anxious to start? Annoyed? Feeling pressured because your neighbor who is younger than your child started potty training? If you answered YES to any of those questions, rethink your “why” behind beginning and tell yourself that there is NO RUSH. Your child will go to Kindergarten in underwear with your support. Just like all infants learn to walk and talk differently, this is your child’s individual journey. You ready?!

Make a plan before you begin. You can have your child pick out their supplies, or you can surprise them. I let Jackson pick everything out since he is over 3 years old and is in a developmental stage where he craves control and power. The night before we began potty training, we told Jackson exactly what was going to happen. We explained that we didn’t have any more diapers.

We had pull ups for naps and nighttime, and underwear for the day. One tip that will help when using both pull-ups and underwear, is it only using pull-ups for sleep or times of desperation. Also, call them different things and make sure your child knows what they are wearing. When Jackson felt his body need to pee or poop, he could either sit on his Paw Patrol potty or the big potty. Since Jackson is an insistent and strong willed guy, I knew that if Matthew and I overly praised him, bribed him, nagged him, or prompted him too frequently, he would RESIST POTTY TRAINING. 

THE FIRST FEW DAYS:

So in the morning, we calmly reminded him of our plan and went about our day. He wore a shirt and underwear around the house. You could also go bottomless if you think your child needs extra support in learning that the underwear will not hold the pee and will be a different sensation if they pee in it. I prompted him every 30 minutes or so for the first few hours saying things like, “First we all go potty, then we play outside” OR “I’m going to use the bathroom, let’s see if we can go at the same time!” He tried a few times, AND resisted a few times.

When he resisted a few times, I was cool and calm. I didn’t force. I said, “OK, it sounds like your body doesn’t need to go, let me know when you need to go.” After a few hours, he had his first accident. Again, I was cool and calm AND INVOLVED HIM IN CLEANING UP HIS ACCIDENT. No shame or punishment, just a natural consequence of sitting in wet underwear and cleaning up the mess.

The first few days are when you watch your child like a hawk. The more developmentally ready they are, the less stress you will feel and less likely you will feel housebound for weeks potty training. If you see your child beginning to pee, immediately put them on the potty and remind them, “When we need to pee, we sit on the potty.” When we normalize going potty as part of our everyday routine (because it is), children feel less pressured to go on demand or fear accidents. 

So we are about a week into potty training, and it couldn’t be going any better. No pressure or bribes from our end, sending Jackson the message that he has body autonomy and using the bathroom is his choice. Of course we squealed with delight the first time he peed in the toilet. After a few days, using the bathroom is just something we all do now before transitions or when we need to go! If he goes in his small potty, he dumps it in the big toilet, if he makes a little mess, he cleans it up. How powerful is it for a toddler to feel that his parents trust him with his own body?! Pretty cool!

IF potty training starts off really rough and you are struggling, it’s 100% OK to stop and try again in a few months. When we tried to potty train Connor, we started for the wrong reasons and it backfired. We gave up after a few days of MANY accidents. When we tried again in a few months, it couldn’t have gone any smoother. Time is a gift! 

Next hurdle…nap and nighttime potty training. Jackson has been dry for many naps, which shows me that he is close to losing the pull ups during his naps. I can also write a blog post on that transition if that would be helpful for you as well. 

Always remember that what worked for us might not work with your child. If you need support with anything potty related such as refusal to poop, resistance to potty training, or how to transition, set up a 1:1 consultation and I would love to support you with the process!