Is your child your mini me? Is that a good thing?
Let’s pretend you have a BIG reaction when you see an insect on the sidewalk. Then right after, your child slowly falls over in the grass and has a BIG reaction…what is the reason for that behavior? Is your child mirroring your behaviors, feelings and body language to reflect what they see?
Human interaction is the largest sensory input your child receives. And they adore you-so every small move we make is imprinted in their brains. No pressure, right? 🙂
Show your best self to your child by:
-Authenticity: How many times has your child said “look mama!” and you replied, “wow!” with an unenthusiastic tone, not even looking your child? I have, many times. There is a different between praise, encouragement and validating. Put on your supermama cape, walk over to your child with wide, curious eyes. Truly believe what you say to them.
Connect: Connor fell on the floor and screamed. He “forgot” how to put his pants on. A few years ago, I would have replied with “hurry and put them on,” or just done it for him. This time, I sat with him, took a big breath, and made genuine eye contact. I told him the story of how I really didn’t want to brush my teeth this morning and gave him a hug. A hug was enough.
Relate: Sophia is whining for the 124th time about wanting a snack as your trying to get ready for many guests to come over. Put your ego aside, and step in her shoes. You probably lose steam when your hungry and feel nervous for guests to come over, you just express it a different way.
Model techniques for living with uncomfortable emotions. You can teach your child that you take deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed. You can tell your child how frustrated you were that the jar of tomato sauce wouldn’t open, so you tried 3 different ways to persevere.
Most importantly, your child is being imprinted by the tone of your voice as you speak to others, your facial expressions as you get breakfast ready….how you approach a stranger at the park…the list goes on and on. Don’t overthink it, keep reflecting, learning, and be yourself.
For a related post, go to Clingy Child Club.
