Delaying Kindergarten: An educator and mom perspective
If you google “delaying kindergarten”, you will find polarized opinions as well as polarized research backing both sides. Some argue that an extra year is a “gift of time” and other argue that an extra year is a “theft of opportunity”.
It would be so much more helpful if the research was clear across the board, so we could quickly and confidently make a decision for our children. Just like so many other parenting decisions, it’s very muddy and also very nuanced based on so many factors: How many years of preschool has your child attended? Are they neurodivergent? What is their birth order? What does their time outside school look like? Family income? Social and emotional skills? IEP? Potty trained? Trauma? Educational systems in your area?
Taking all these factors into consideration we decided to give the gift of time for our second son, who has a July birthday. I also am very aware that this is a privileged decision, that many families do not have the option to decide. For some families, having their child is a full day of Kindergarten will be the absolute best option, when all factors are taken into consideration.
Here’s why we are giving another year of preschool: PLAY IS ENDANGERED, AND PLAY IS HOW YOUNG CHILDREN LEARN.
The research side:
As a former teacher in preschool and kindergarten, there is a big leap between the two: especially in regards to play. Preschools have built in structured and unstructured play time, then the leap to kindergarten is a full day of structured learning, the standards between districts and states feel like you are constantly trying to “keep up with the Jones”, worksheets that do very little teaching or are a good fit, testing begins, a lot of sitting, and of stimulation, long days, little social emotional lessons, AND little play time.
It baffles me with how underdeveloped brains are at age 5-6, that we jump right into letter sounds, counting to 30, and drawing in the lines when research shows us again and again that neurotypical kids under 7 years old benefit from play based learning.
A lack of play in early childhood can be linked to early childhood anxiety, depression, attention problems, and social/emotional deficits. There has also been research conducted that a delay in formal education until age 7 allows a child’s prefrontal cortex more time to integrate. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for time management, impulse control, focused attention, holding two thoughts at once, problem solving, and more. In boys, more research by the day is showing us that this part of brain develops a little bit behind girls, and children with ADHD are 30% behind in these skills.
There is also some research that shows that children who will be on an IEP, benefit from starting Kindergarten on time so they receive the early intervention services that could be critical for their development. If you think of a family who works outside the home, and their options are all day kindergarten vs. having their child watch tv all day while they work, then all day Kindergarten would be the better option. Also, there are some children who have emotional and academic skills that are a good fit for Kindergarten at age 5. This is a very nuanced, and privileged decision.
The mama bear side:
I’m sitting here looking at my 4.5 year old dressed up in his fireman costume putting out a pretend fire by my desk. He is stuck on the idea that he wants to use real water, and I held a boundary that we can’t put water on my office rug to put out a pretend fire. In the middle of digging in his heels and insisting he WILL use real water to put of the fire, he realizes he needs to go to the bathroom at the VERY last minute and runs to the bathroom. On the way back from the bathroom, he is running too fast and hits his head on the side of a table bursting into tears. I held him and rocked him on my lap, looking down at his big-little body wrapped on mine. “I can’t send him to all day kindergarten,” I think to myself. For our family, he needs more time, more play, and more brain growth for him to really feel like he can rock school and be successful.
- We are not delaying kindergarten for sports.
- We are delaying kindergarten so he won’t feel like he is trying to “hold it together” in an education system that often isn’t meant for 5-6 year old brains.
- We are not delaying kindergarten so he will be more likely to be the smartest kid in class.
- We are delaying kindergarten because I have seen first hand how kids who struggle socially and academically spiral into shame, feel inadequate, and then hate school or develop anxiety around going to school. Kindergarten did not meet them where they were at. Our son isn’t behind academically, or socially. I’m not worried he will get bored later in schooling with the right teacher, after school enrichments, and teaching him how to challenge himself when the worksheets are too “easy”.
We wondered if we wanted our 13 or 14 year old to have access to social media. We wondered if we wanted our 17 or 18 year old to be going to college, drinking beers, and making big life decisions. I came to the conclusion that: The longer their brains can grow and neurons can wire and fire together, the better.
No child receives a gold star for finishing school first.
Our plan:
Jackson will do another year of preschool in the elementary school he will attend. He attended preschool at a local church this year. Next year will be 3 hours a day, and I believe he could be there for longer but that wasn’t an option. We are also starting t-ball and swim lessons, and building in afternoons of outside time and unstructured playtime. I advocate for time, and realize that many families do not have that option or find that starting kindergarten IS the best option.
IF I could snap my fingers and create a kindergarten program, that had options for families for half or full day, where there was a big chunk of social learning time, paired with ample outside time, and unstructured play…I would be there. I can dream and keep advocating for our young kids in the mean time.
Let me know if you have any questions, or want to talk through options.
Here are some resources to check out that advocate for delaying kindergarten AND starting Kindergarten at 5 years old.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17200287/ https://busytoddler.com/delay-kindergarten/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2140009/
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