Creative Strategies to Foster Responsibility and Teamwork at Home

I’ve been parenting alone while Matthew is traveling all week for work. This week, I’ve had to ask my older two boys to step up and help me more. 

 

It hasn’t been going well…it almost felt foreign to them that I was asking them to make their own toast, or grab pajamas and a diaper from upstairs for their baby brother. It was foreign. It is often just easier to do things myself rather than try and maintain my calm when they start whining, negotiating, or getting distracted….ya know?

 

I had an “ah ha” moment when I asked my almost 8 year old to help me sort piles of clean laundry, so I could put them away quickly…I had never had him sort laundry before…or unload the dishwasher…or taught him how to properly fluff a pillow (this is important to me, silly I know). I also realized that making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunches after the kids are asleep are doing everyone a disservice. 

 

 

On Sunday, we are starting a new system where we work as a team to tidy up our home using this contribution chart . Here are some ideas if you have been feeling like you want your kids involved more in the daily upkeep of a home. 

 

Reframe the Idea of Chores: 

I like to call jobs around the house “contributions”, because your child is contributing to making a home look nice and safe. You can also call them jobs, teamwork, or tasks. 

 

5:1 Ratio: 

When starting out, we want to build positive associations with tasks that kids probably don’t want to do. Research shows that to do this, we need to give 5 compliments or praises per criticism. So if your child is supposed to be vacuuming your car, and they are vacuuming one seat over and over and using the vacuum suck on their cheek…remember that 5:1 ratio and let some expectations go…

 

Model Chores When your Kids are PRESENT: 

Back to the fluffed pillows…I started doing this when they were around me, saying out loud how I stack the pillows on the couch and karate chop the top of the pillows. Kids need to see us doing the million things we do, and often save those things for bedtime or when kids are watching a show. If you really want help vacuuming, or sweeping up crumbs daily, do it while your kids are around and watching. 

 

You Decide if a new Job is Daily or Weekly: 

We are still trying to master getting dressed and putting shoes IN the shoe basket instead of throwing them in the direction of the shoe basket, so adding in more routines and jobs right now is too daunting for our family. Your dynamics might be different, and your kids temperaments might be ready to build new routines and add in more family jobs. Each weekend, before we do something fun, we are going to take 30-45 minutes and “RESET” our home. This is when I will pull out the contribution chart and write down what needs to be done as I look around our home. 

 

Give your Child an Area to be in Charge of: 

Giving kids an area to be in charge of provides ownership over that area, and reiterates the idea that we ALL work together as a family, and clean up after each other. If you ever hear your kids whining, “I didn’t play with that, so I don’t have to put it away!!!” Then, the idea of filling your child’s power cup by giving them an area to be in charge of might be really helpful! This makes each area neutral, and fosters an “us” mindset rather than “me vs. them” mindset. 

Here are two helpful documents to get you started: https://mailchi.mp/77483dbcda1e/chore_chart

 

 

Disclaimer: This information is not to be replaced by professional opinions 🙂